Families and Failures
by violets92
Summary: Sirius and Harry have a talk early in OotP. Nonslash.


My first HP fic. Purely because I love Sirius and I love Harry & Sirius bonding moments. Please review.

Disclaimer: If I own Harry Potter, do you really think Sirius would be dead?

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"_It's been rather difficult for you to look after him while you've been locked up in Azkaban, hasn't it?"_

Molly Weasley's words still rung in his ears. Sirius had heard many threats and taunts in his lifetime, ranging from teasing because of house rivalry, to people's views on him being locked up in Azkaban. Still, none could have stung him more than what Mrs Weasley had just hours earlier. He sighed as he sat down next to Buckbeak.

In a way, he felt as if he deserved it. He hadn't been around. He hadn't seen Harry grow up. He hadn't been there to see him off to Hogwarts. He hadn't helped him fight off Voldemort the first two times. Sirius groaned. If he hadn't been so damn _stupid_ to go after Peter everything would have been so different. So much easier. Harry would have been so much happier. Instead, he had to throw his life away at twenty-one years of age.

He knew Molly didn't trust him. She was so overprotective of Harry. It was understandable, but as the weeks went on, Sirius still felt as if she hadn't warmed up to him at all. It was as if she was just waiting for him to attack Harry or any of the kids, really. The thing was, no matter how many times she argued with him and told him to stay put in the house, she still had no idea what it was like to be Sirius Black. She had absolutely _no_ idea what it felt like to escape prison and then be locked up in a house that, if possible, was even worse than Azkaban. Then to hear that he'd failed as a godfather…it was almost too much. What hurt the most though, was that Sirius knew it was true, He had failed Harry.

Hell, he couldn't even catch a fucking rat right. Wormtail had got away. All it would have taken was a freaking stunning spell to be free. For Harry to be free. Molly had been right. She knew Harry more than he did. She knew what the kid, no _teenager_ was like. That was another thing about being in Azkaban. He forgot the world kept turning.

She had been wrong about one thing though. He had _never_ thought Harry was James. No matter how much he looked like him, Sirius knew that Harry was Harry. He wasn't James. He was just…Harry. Not the Boy-Who-Lived and certainly not James Potter. The only reason he treated Harry like his best friend, was that Harry needed more than just a parental figure. That was what Molly was for. Sirius knew that Harry needed an adult to talk to that didn't treat him like a baby or some sort of tragic hero only there to save the Goddamn world. That's what a godfather was there for, right? Sirius let out a short, bark-like laugh remembering his own godfather. Apparently he had taken his duties as an opportunity to teach little Sirius Black about the importance of pureblood families.

"Um, Sirius?" Harry stood at the door.

"Oh, hey." His voice sounded miserable.

"Do you want me to come back later?"

"No, no. Come on in. I wasn't doing anything special." Harry smiled, quickly bowed to Buckbeak and gave him a pat. He then sat down opposite his godfather.

"Are you okay?"

"Yeah. Well, being stuck in this dump of a house isn't exactly my idea of freedom, but I'm as good as I can get in this place." He gave a humourless grin.

"You know I don't blame you, right?"

"Blame me? For what?" Sirius pretended to be oblivious. It was a trait that had served him well in the past.

"What Mrs Weasley said earlier…about Azkaban, I just thought…" He trailed off, seemingly unable to form a proper sentence. Sirius sighed.

"It's okay. She was right anyway." He let out another harsh laugh. "I couldn't exactly send a birthday cake from prison, could I?" Harry smiled at the sarcasm despite the situation.

"She still shouldn't have said it." Sirius looked at his godson with apprehension.

"You didn't try and stick up for me did you?" Harry looked up in surprise.

"You underestimate my intelligence." Harry smirked "I'm not dumb enough to intentionally feel the wrath of Molly Weasley." Sirius let out a bark of laughter.

"You're a smart one, Harry." Harry grinned. Sirius grinned back. "So why aren't you in bed talking to Ron about the meeting?" His godson shrugged.

"I figured I'd come and stop you moping first." Sirius smirked.

"Gee thanks, but I think you better get back before Molly castrates me for keeping you up and corrupting your mind."

"I'll just tell her it was my idea. She doesn't get mad at me often."

"Uh huh." Sirius laughed. Somehow he didn't doubt what the boy said. Molly fawned over him worse than she did her own children.

"It's true!" Harry exclaimed. Sirius hushed him out of instinct. "Sorry"

"Don't worry about it. It's just a natural survival instinct. Somehow I get the feeling my mother is still following me and telling me what a disappointment I am." He smiled sadly.

"You're not a disappointment!" Harry looked at Sirius, confused. Sirius laughed.

"Maybe not to you, but to my mother, I was the worst heir my family could ever have."

"What?"

"You don't know anything about the Black family, do you Harry?" Harry shook his head.

"You're forgetting I lived with the Dursleys for eleven years." Sirius frowned.

"I only met Petunia once. She was the most idiotic horse I ever came across." Harry burst out laughing.

"You picked up the resemblance too, huh?" Sirius nodded, laughing. "So what's wrong with your family?" He sobered immediately.

"I don't think-"

"Oh come on Sirius! Do you seriously believe I'll think any less of you because of your family?"

"I'm hoping you won't…but once you find out…"

"Just tell me. It can't be that bad!" Sirius sighed. The boy was as stubborn as his father sometimes.

"Okay, but remember…I warned you." And with that, Sirius leaned back against the wall and started explaining.

"My whole family was in Slytherin." Sirius risked a glance over at Harry and saw his shocked expression. He sighed. "Are you sure you want to hear the rest?" Harry rolled his eyes.

"Will you stop asking me questions? Just get on with it!" Sirius smiled.

"They were just a bunch of Dark wizards really. Everyone except for one of my uncles, my cousin Andromeda and her daughter, Tonks, who I believe you know." Harry raised his eyebrows.

"You're related to Tonks?" Sirius grinned.

"The last time I saw her, she was about half your size. Cutest kid I ever came across. Good parents too. Anyway, they were all banished from the tapestry." Harry looked confused. "Disowned, Harry. Along with their most disappointing son yet." Sirius gestured to himself.

"You were disowned?" Harry asked incredulously.

"Oh yeah. If a Black lands themself in Gryffindor, that's the end for you. Slytherin or nothing. I reckon I'm related to half of the bloody snakes by now."

"Does that mean…" Harry's eyes bulged. "Are you related to the Malfoys?" Sirius smiled bitterly and nodded.

"Yeah. All pureblood families are inter-related. There's so few of us left. I think I'm related to Molly actually. Not that she acts like it. The Black family are just a bunch of Death Eaters to her."

"Death Eaters? You mean-"

"My much superior brother, Regulus, was one. He got blown to smithereens."

"By aurors?"

"Merlin no. He didn't get that far. He chickened out. Except you can't just say goodbye to Voldemort and skip away happily. You're in it forever or say goodbye to life. I'm betting one of Voldy's other faithful Death Eaters did the honours. Probably Bellatrix. She would have loved that." Sirius laughed bitterly.

"Bella-"

"One of my other faithful cousins."

"Oh." Harry shook his head.

"So now I've had my turn, how about you?" Sirius inclined his head. This would be interesting.

"Me? There's really nothing-"

"Harry, nothing can be worse than my family. I can't promise that I won't want to rip Petunia's ugly head off, but just give it a go."

"Okay, but you have been warned." Sirius laughed sarcastically at the mockery.

"Just get on with it!"

"Okay, well…Obviously you know Petunia. Did you ever meet Uncle Vernon?"

"No, I can't say I did."

"Well, he doesn't exactly…like magic all that much. He, ah, tried to squash it out of me but it failed." Sirius growled.

"What do you mean, _squash it out_ of you?"

"Um, you know, just a few hits…"

"He _hit_ you?" Sirius went to stand up but Harry grabbed his arm.

"Don't Sirius. I knew this was a bad idea-"

"No! Keep going. I'll keep calm. I promise. I won't do anything stupid until I'm out of here." Harry looked at him sceptically but continued.

"And then there was Dudley, their son. I'm wearing his clothes now." Sirius smirked at the size of them.

"Let me guess…he resembled a hippogriff?"

"Pig actually." Sirius laughed. "He's in a gang. He beats up ten year olds, but he can still throw quite a punch." Sirius looked mad again so Harry quickly continued. "They made me cook most of their meals and I was given Dudley's second bedroom when I started Hogwarts, but other than that it was just hellish. I had to do my homework under the bed sheets at night."

"Where'd you sleep before you started Hogwarts?" Sirius grimaced. He had a feeling the answer wouldn't be good.

"Um…I don't-"

"Harry, come on. Just tell me. I'm your godfather. That has to count for something, right?"

"I slept in the cupboard under the stairs." He mumbled it, but Sirius heard clearly and had to stop himself from apparating to the Dursleys with Harry's wand to hex them all into smithereens.

"A _cupboard_?" Sirius let out a breath and Harry looked somewhat ashamed.

"Yeah. It was alright until I was about nine. Then it got really cramped. On the plus side, I was never scared of spiders." He tried to lighten the mood, but it didn't work.

"You can sleep in my bedroom tonight. It's the biggest one in the house. I-" Harry laughed.

"I'm fine Sirius. I'm good with sharing a room with Ron. You don't need to make up for the Dursleys' treatment of me. I'm fine." His godfather sighed.

"I'm just shocked. That's all. I might get Remus to go and hex them-"

"No! Just leave them alone Sirius. I have to go back there in the summer anyway. It would just get worse if you or Professor Lupin hexed them into oblivion. I'm fine Sirius, I really am."

"I wouldn't call what you've been through 'fine' but I'll let you slide for now." Harry smiled.

"I should probably get to bed."

"Yeah, Molly would kill me if she found out about this little meeting." They both laughed.

"Well, it was nice knowing you." Harry gave his godfather a mock salute and got up.

"Same here." Harry laughed and walked to the door.

"Harry?"

"Yeah, Sirius?"

"Promise me you'll come and talk to me more often. Please? I need someone to keep me sane." Harry laughed and smiled.

"Are you sure that's even possible Padfoot?"

"Hey!"

"Okay, okay. I'm sorry. I promise I'll keep you as sane as I possibly can."

"Thankyou. Now get to bed!"

"Yes sir!" Harry saluted him again and smirked. "'Night Padfoot."

"'Night Harry."

Maybe he hadn't failed after all.


End file.
